Rev Bob and the Balrog Two: There and Back Again

THE MADNESS CONTINUED:

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 1:01 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I have had it with these m***-f*** Balrogs in these m***-f*** mines!”

NickPheas on August 24, 2015 at 1:02 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hello clouds, hello sky, hello pile of severed human heads.

Tenar Darell on August 24, 2015 at 1:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

On your left.

cmm on August 24, 2015 at 1:06 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Won’t you be my neighbor?

Mart on August 24, 2015 at 1:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“The line must be drawn HERE!”

Lauowolf on August 24, 2015 at 1:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

yes I said yes I will Yes

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 1:26 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!”

Cubist on August 24, 2015 at 1:29 pm said:

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 11:05 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

““I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.””

You are Willard Van Orman Quine, and I claim my copy of The Ways of Paradox.

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 1:30 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk! Perkodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurthrumathunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun! Klikkaklakkaklaskaklopatzklatschabattacreppycrottygraddaghsemmihsammihnouithappluddyappladdypkonpkot! Bladyughfoulmoecklenburgwhurawhorascortastrumpapornanennykocksapastippatappatupperstrippuckputtanach! Thingcrooklyexineverypasturesixdixlikencehimaroundhersthemaggerbykinkinkankanwithdownmindlookingated!”

Hugh on August 24, 2015 at 1:32 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Say ‘what’ again. Say ‘what’ again, I dare you, I double dare you mother****er, say what one more Goddamn time!

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 1:33 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You had me at Hello.

Joe H. on August 24, 2015 at 1:34 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

This guy are sick.

cmm on August 24, 2015 at 1:43 pm said:

Meanwhile…

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You ain’t a beauty but hey, you’re all right.”

Second:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Darkness beyond twilight
Crimson beyond blood that flows
Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows
I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand
before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand
Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed
by the power you and I possess…
DRAGON SLAVE!

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 1:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Gimme some sugar, baby.”

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 1:50 pm said:

WAIT DID ANYONE SAY GODSTALK TO THE DAMN BALROG?

kathodus on August 24, 2015 at 1:51 pm said:

@Nigel: Need you ask?

Lisbet on August 24, 2015 at 1:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.

Jrod on August 24, 2015 at 1:59 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You spoony bard!

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 2:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow…

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 2:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m not expendable, I’m not stupid, and I’m not going.

tonieee on August 24, 2015 at 2:01 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

and when they got together it was murder!

Lexica on August 24, 2015 at 2:04 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You said it was clear!”
“I said it looked clear.”
“Well, how’s it look now?”
“Looks clear…”

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 2:08 pm said:

@kathodus – I panicked.

Kyra on August 24, 2015 at 2:11 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 2:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’ve got a message for the Powers That Be —
‘hate you, the farm, and Kansas.
I’ve got a crossbow and I’m taking the dog.
I hope you suffer.
Love, me.’

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 2:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“My God, it’s full of stars!”

j-grizz on August 24, 2015 at 2:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Who do you have to blow to get last bottle of bleach in Middle Earth anyway?”

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 2:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Ok, I promise. We’ll get Benedict Cumberbatch to play you in the movie, provided you get off the bridge now…

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 2:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Amber will be destroyed!”

John Stick on August 24, 2015 at 2:19 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Who’s a little fear demon? Who’s a little fear demon?

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 2:21 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare
Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare”

PhilRM on August 24, 2015 at 2:23 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

What’s all this then?

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 2:25 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hello my baby….

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfU1JqmkHM

tonieee on August 24, 2015 at 2:28 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Are you my mummy?

Lori Coulson on August 24, 2015 at 2:28 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Shall we dance?

MDW on August 24, 2015 at 2:35 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“What do you want?”
“Who are you?”

Laertes on August 24, 2015 at 2:36 pm said:

First.

PhilRM on August 24, 2015 at 2:37 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“How’d you get up there?”
“Wasn’t easy!”

James Cowling on August 24, 2015 at 2:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with ME!

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 2:40 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“First!”

(Is that what you were aiming for, @Laertes?)

Laertes on August 24, 2015 at 2:43 pm said:

@Ray Radlein”:

Is that what you were aiming for, @Laertes?

No. I was just really slow.

Kyra on August 24, 2015 at 2:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Who are you, and how did you get in here?”
“I’m a locksmith. And, I’m a locksmith.”

Jack Lint on August 24, 2015 at 2:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Au revoir, gopher!”

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 2:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Where is my cow?

Neil W on August 24, 2015 at 2:48 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Take your stinking hands off me you damn dirty ape!

Happy Puppy on August 24, 2015 at 2:49 pm said:

Facing the Balrog:

Vox Day, I presume?

PhilRM on August 24, 2015 at 2:51 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’ve got two words for you: shut the f*ck up.”

Leslie C on August 24, 2015 at 2:53 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

DO NOT WANT

Chris S on August 24, 2015 at 2:54 pm said:

Vox Day isn’t a Balrog, he’s a small squeaky chew toy.

Or a very naughty boy. Depending.

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 2:56 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost, in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

brightglance on August 24, 2015 at 3:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Is it about a bicycle?”

Lisbet on August 24, 2015 at 3:06 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Relax, what could possibly go wro–

Jon Meltzer on August 24, 2015 at 3:11 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Heard any good balrog jokes lately?

nonasuch on August 24, 2015 at 3:11 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Honestly shocked that no one’s done this one yet, so:

At Worldcon in this fateful hour
I place all Heaven with its power
And the sun with its brightness
Ant the snow with its whiteness
And the fire with all the strength it hath
And the lightning with its rapid wrath
And the winds with their swiftness along their path
And the sea with its deepness
And the rocks with their steepness
And the Earth with its starkness
All these I place
By God’s almighty help and grace
Between myself and the powers of darkness.

Chris S on August 24, 2015 at 3:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hold my beer and watch this!

tonieee on August 24, 2015 at 3:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

A wizard you are, Gandalf. An expert on Balrogs you are not!

Rob Barrett on August 24, 2015 at 3:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The Aristocrats!

Mach5RR on August 24, 2015 at 3:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Back off man, I’m a scientist.

Bravo Lima Poppa on August 24, 2015 at 3:22 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Move along. Nothing to see here.

Keep calm and carry on.

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 3:33 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

These aren’t the dwarves you’re looking for.
They can go about their business.
Move along.

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 3:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“So. Anybody know how to Madison?”

IanP on August 24, 2015 at 3:40 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to stop the Balrog. Me with this terrible pain in the diodes down my left side…

DreamAtelier on August 24, 2015 at 3:41 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

-WHERE! IS! MY! COW!

-I find your lack of faith disturbing.

-Oh, very clever. Whatever you’ve got planned, forget it. I’m the Doctor. I’m 904 years old. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness… and you are basically just a balrog, aren’t you? Okay, carry on. Just a… general… warning.

-So what’s our cover story? Derren Brown. Again? We’ve sent him flowers.

-So that’s what an Invisible Wall looks like.

Jonathan Olfert on August 24, 2015 at 3:49 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Paint me like one of your French girls.

tigtog on August 24, 2015 at 3:54 pm said:

[delurking to get in on some Balrog action]

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.”

Cubist on August 24, 2015 at 4:08 pm said:

Gandalf’s memorable words:

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am; I’m a genuine philanthropist—all other kinds are sham!

Jrod on August 24, 2015 at 4:09 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

A reckoning shall not be postponed indefinitely.

All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.

Lyle Hopwood on August 24, 2015 at 4:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“All your base are belong to us.”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

God bless you, please Mr Torgersen. Heaven holds a place for those who spray, Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:14 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

There’s an app for that!

Harold Osler on August 24, 2015 at 4:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Curfew shall not ring tonight.

Yves Meynard on August 24, 2015 at 4:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I extend my salutations to you, presumptive brother in Christ…

Peace Is My Middle Name on August 24, 2015 at 4:19 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you …”

[Editorial Comment: it took 25 pages, more than 13,000 words, before someone finally rick-rolled the comments!]

Lorcan Nagle on August 24, 2015 at 4:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 4:21 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

PC LOAD LETTER

CaseyL on August 24, 2015 at 4:22 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I knew I shoulda toined left at Albaquoique.

Lorcan Nagle on August 24, 2015 at 4:23 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

PROTECT THE INNOCENT
PRESERVE THE PUBLIC TRUST
UPHOLD THE LAW
CLASSIFIED

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Oh great, another Amazon algorithm screw-up!

Steven Schwartz on August 24, 2015 at 4:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re not helping! Why is that, Balrog?

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:26 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Look, if it’s about the comment thread involving John C Wright….”

Amina on August 24, 2015 at 4:29 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Much fire. Such scary. Wow.”

Lorcan Nagle on August 24, 2015 at 4:31 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It’s not like I’m using, it’s like my body’s developed this massive drug deficiency.

rgl on August 24, 2015 at 4:32 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Scudzo! The mouthwash that really scrolls your knurd.

Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne.

Will R. on August 24, 2015 at 4:32 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

Lorcan Nagle on August 24, 2015 at 4:34 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

(with apologies to Archer)

Do you want Ents, Lana? Because this is how you get Ents!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:35 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“What’s a nice valarauko like you doing in a place like this?”

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It is an ancient Mariner,
And he stoppeth one of three.

“Call me Ishmael.”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

C’mon, baby, light my fire!

CPaca on August 24, 2015 at 4:40 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Go away, ‘bating !

RedWombat on August 24, 2015 at 4:41 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

This–Is–MORIA!

*kicks Balrog off bridge*

Cubist on August 24, 2015 at 4:42 pm said:

Gandalf’s words:

“You bash the Balrog, and I’ll climb the tree.”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:42 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Mr Balrog, this is Brian Z, he’s offered to negotiate with you….”

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 4:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Look, we agreed that Benedict Cumberbatch would play you in the movie, provided you get off this Bridge, but thats it! No you can’t have a trailer, alongside Bendicts, I appreciate that it would be amazing for you, but no. Just no.

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:49 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Aunt Agatha!

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 4:51 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Balrog keeps his home in the Moira Mines
Gandalf wants to get his party out
Balrog says to Gandalf ‘Hey I like your flame’
And Gandalf says this as he runs towards gates,

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da File goes on lah
La la how the File goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da File goes on
La la how the File goes on

Balrog takes his goblins to the final bridge
Gandalf decides to make a stand
Gandalf says to Balrog ‘You shall not pass’
And all the little goblins sing this song,

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da God Stalk on Yeah!
La la, la God Stalk on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da God Stalk on Yeah!
La la, la God Stalk on

Gandalf breaks the bridge with his wizards staff,
Balrog is falling to his death
Gandalf shouts out ‘Flee you fools’
And the trolls all post this happy little song

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da E-P-H fud!
La la, la E-P-H fud
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da E-P-H fud!
La la, la E-P-H fud

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da File goes on lah
La la how the File goes on
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da File goes on
La la how the File goes on

[For Dave Freer who wants a traditional song from Liverpool]

Rev. Bob on August 24, 2015 at 4:53 pm said:

I don’t think I’ve ever been quoted so frequently…

Okay, I suppose if I started this game (sorry, Ginger), it’s only right that I take a turn or two at the wheel, although Bruce Baugh’s invocation of that most unholy Eye takes some doing to top…

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“HEEEEYYYYYYY, ABBBBOTTTTTTTT!”

“He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”

(sung) “How do you solve a problem like Correia?”

(sung, to a different tune, this time in black and white) “Shine on, shine on harvest moon… up in the sky…”

(sung, to yet another tune, and back in color) “You may be wrong, for all I know, but you may be Wright!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:54 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I knew we shoulda brought Ronda Rousey rather than the useless frickin’ hobbits!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:55 pm said:

@Rev Bob

(sung) “How do you solve a problem like Correia?”

“Springtime for Larry and Puppery!”

Greg on August 24, 2015 at 4:57 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Gandalf, I’m a man!”
“Nobody’s perfect.”

Jamoche on August 24, 2015 at 5:03 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re a Betan! You can’t do—”

“I am your creator, and I order you to —”

“I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.”

“Who taught him how to negotiate?”

RJ on August 24, 2015 at 5:03 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

WUBBA-LUBBA-DUB-DUB!

Joe H. on August 24, 2015 at 5:06 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

My personal name is Gandalf and I have a slight flaw in my character.

Ravi on August 24, 2015 at 5:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 5:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Who you gonna call? Balrog-busters!

I hereby declare my candidacy for Ruler of Middle Earth.

I cast magic missile at the darkness.

My, what big teeth you have.

This CGI is very well done.

I do believe in fairies.

There’s no place like Rivendell. There’s no place like Rivendell. There’s no place like Rivendell.

Peace Is My Middle Name on August 24, 2015 at 5:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Manah manah!
Doo DOO doo doo doo!

Greg on August 24, 2015 at 5:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Why…do I act…so well?”

“And that…is acting!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 5:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets Noah Ward again!

Lin McAllister on August 24, 2015 at 5:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Why a duck?”

Peace Is My Middle Name on August 24, 2015 at 5:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Bake the hall in the candle of her brain.

Greg on August 24, 2015 at 5:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Thus have I, Wall, my part dischargèd so.
And, being done, thus Wall away doth go.”

Susan on August 24, 2015 at 5:17 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I, for one, welcome our new Balrog overlords.

Kyra on August 24, 2015 at 5:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

No. I AM your father.

Vicki Rosenzweig on August 24, 2015 at 5:19 pm said:

Carthago delenda est!

There was a wall.

Greg on August 24, 2015 at 5:19 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I believed in you. I thought you had potential. But apparently I was wrong. May whatever God you believe in…have MERCY on your soul! This court stands adjourned!”

Will R. on August 24, 2015 at 5:20 pm said:

Bigger Balrogs have smaller Balrogs…

MDW on August 24, 2015 at 5:21 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You’re in a mine walking along in the blackness when all of a sudden you look, and you see a dwarf, it’s crawling towards you. You reach down, you flip the dwarf over on its back. The dwarf lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot flames of your whip, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

Lorcan Nagle on August 24, 2015 at 5:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 5:25 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

An old mine
The Balrog jumps in
Sound of laughter.

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 5:27 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You went the wrong way, old king Louis,
In your palace at Versailles.

Who’s on first?

Rob on August 24, 2015 at 5:27 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody. Instead of a bum. Which is what I am, let’s face it.

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 5:28 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Wait for your pitch, Gandalf…”

Beth in MA on August 24, 2015 at 5:42 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Hey, Balrog, what do you call the middle part of a song?”
“Gee, I don’t know…A BRIDGE!!!!!!”

Quinchan on August 24, 2015 at 5:43 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!

Greg on August 24, 2015 at 5:43 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

YOU…HAD…ONE…JOB!

Al the Great and Powerful on August 24, 2015 at 5:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“oh, thank goodness, you made it. There are 200 screaming kindergartners beyond that door, so you’ll have to…wait, come back!”

mk41 on August 24, 2015 at 5:45 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m not Mr. Lebowski. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude.

Al the Great and Powerful on August 24, 2015 at 5:46 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Indy and Saleh repeat in unison, “He’s on the WRONG side of the bridge!”

'As You Know' Bob on August 24, 2015 at 5:46 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike…”

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 5:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I have been forged in the fires of Kyra’s brackets. I am not afraid of you!

This is awkward. We both chose the same cosplay outfit.

'As You Know' Bob on August 24, 2015 at 5:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“And so to bed.”

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 5:56 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

And now I shall read you some Vogon Poetry. “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Hugo Packet One Midsummer Morning”

Cubist on August 24, 2015 at 6:00 pm said:

Gandalf’s words…

“The cake is a lie!”

“Isengard was yet forty leagues distant when the pipeweed began to take hold.”

“This was a triumph! I’m making a note here: Huge success.”

rrede on August 24, 2015 at 6:07 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Rosebud!

And thanks for all the fish.

Jamoche on August 24, 2015 at 6:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You sly dog! You caught me monologuing!”

Meredith on August 24, 2015 at 6:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!

Leslie C on August 24, 2015 at 6:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Oh, fuck.

Bruce Baugh on August 24, 2015 at 6:14 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The SMOFs, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

rrede on August 24, 2015 at 6:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Knock, knock..”

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 6:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Khazad-dûm-dûm-dûm, push pineapple, shake the tree
Khazad-dûm-dûm-dûm,, push pineapple, grind coff-ee
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 6:23 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Kyra: OK Balrog. In this bracket you have to chose between Starship Troopers and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress
Balrog: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jayn on August 24, 2015 at 6:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Ford, there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this Hugo-nominated novella they’ve worked out.”

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 6:25 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Whoooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 6:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“So then, the party of the first part, hereafter to be referred to as The Balrog, gets the dwarf, the elf, Gandalf, the Man Who Would Be King And Murder My Daddy, the rat-creatures, and, of course, the Ring that we don’t talk about but everyone knows is in the runtiest rat-creature’s pocketsesses. The party of the second part, hereafter to be referred to as me, Boromir, The Unappreciated, The Washer Of Hobbits While Gandalf Twinkles A Patronizing Eye And Smokes That Disgusting Weed, gets the hand-stitched bath towels with Moria Welcomes Ecologically Aware Tourism, Gandalf’s golf-clubs, The Throne Of Gondor When Daddy Mysteriously Cuts His Head Off While Shaving, and, of course, the 17 volume set of “Her Tender Barbarian”, written by T. Beale Esq. for Harlequin under the pseudonym of Charlotte Regina Aristotle-Perkins. Do we have a deal?”

jayn on August 24, 2015 at 6:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“No puppy can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality…”

Soon Lee on August 24, 2015 at 6:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Same time next year? “

Scott Frazer on August 24, 2015 at 6:40 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Go for the eyes, Boo!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 6:43 pm said:

@RedWombat

I’ll basho the Balrog and you climb the tree…

Oh, damn!

Iphinome on August 24, 2015 at 6:43 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The north remembers.

Pogonip on August 24, 2015 at 6:44 pm said:

…those immortal words…”

“A wop bop a loo bop a lop bam boom!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 6:46 pm said:

I have clearly been thinking about this too much. I have just tried to look up GRRM’s site as “notabalrog”.

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 6:46 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Roll for initiative”

RedWombat on August 24, 2015 at 6:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Go for the eyes, Boo!

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 6:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Sweep the leg!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 6:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

And Ronda Rousey takes down the Balrog in 34 seconds via an arm-bar submission….

clif on August 24, 2015 at 6:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

MDW on August 24, 2015 at 6:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I love you.”
“I know.”
falls in carbonite

Peace Is My Middle Name on August 24, 2015 at 6:59 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You dare question the Mistress’s design aesthetic?”

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 7:01 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

LEEEEROY JENKINS!

Ravi on August 24, 2015 at 7:07 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

– It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

– Talking to yourself is a sign of impending mental collapse.

Fugue on August 24, 2015 at 7:07 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“So… my place or yours?”
“I thought he’d never ask.”

Michael Kube-McDowell on August 24, 2015 at 7:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

No capes!

sieve! on August 24, 2015 at 7:12 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

fnord

Jim Henley on August 24, 2015 at 7:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Nothing is fucked here, Dude!”

Jim Henley on August 24, 2015 at 7:21 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’ll show you the life of the mind! I’ll show you the life of the mind!”

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 7:25 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“SAY… MY… NAME!”

David W. on August 24, 2015 at 7:30 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste” ::do doo do:: ::do doo do::

RJ on August 24, 2015 at 7:33 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“My dear, I’ve kicked more ass than you’ve sat on.”

Lenora Rose on August 24, 2015 at 7:33 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

My Chief Rabbit has told me to stay and defend this run, and until he says otherwise, I shall stay here.

Jim Henley on August 24, 2015 at 7:45 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!”

Cassy B. on August 24, 2015 at 7:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Forty-two.

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 7:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Jumanji!

Lin McAllister on August 24, 2015 at 7:58 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

fnord

Hodor!

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 8:04 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Their van will be upon us
Before the bridge goes down;
And if they once may win the bridge,
What hope to save the town?”

Viverrine on August 24, 2015 at 8:08 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Bingo! Wait, wrong game…

Hi, ho, hi, ho, it’s off to work we go! Wait, wrong dwarves…

I volunteer as tribute!

Elisa on August 24, 2015 at 8:08 pm said:

Okay I made it all the way to page 27 before running out of steam. Apologies if this one has already been done.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The day those stout hearts band together is the day that pigs get wings.

There’ll be pork in the treetops come morning

Jim Henley on August 24, 2015 at 8:08 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“And many who die deserve life. Can you give it no hold on.”

TechGrrl1972 on August 24, 2015 at 8:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Here I stand In the light of day!
Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway!”

Hey, it got nominated for a Hugo last year!

PhilRM on August 24, 2015 at 8:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Ah’ll be back.”

“You know what old Jack Burton always says? He always says, what the hell.”

“Do you feel lucky today, punk?”

rgl on August 24, 2015 at 8:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Balrog, I kill you filthy.

“As you wish, so be it.”

Will R. on August 24, 2015 at 8:31 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I think we may be going a bridge too fa…oh, come on, who am I kidding? When haven’t we gone a bridge too far?

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:32 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

‘Don’t feel bad, dude. A lot of people had unsuccessful accounts on Ashley Madison.”

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 8:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Wait? What do you mean we did that joke on page 8 already?

Iphinome on August 24, 2015 at 8:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

No day but today!

Do you have a flag?

Here’s Johnny!

Well excuuuuuuse me princess!

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 8:42 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

[Gandalf removes, hat, wig and fake beard] But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him. GRRRRRR*

[*this bit may not be canonical]

Amoxtli on August 24, 2015 at 8:42 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:43 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Damnit, Jackson, quit screwing with the CGI! We ain’t had no meat for three stinking days, so let’s throw Gandalf off the bridge and find the nearest KFC already!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:45 pm said:

@Camestros Felapton

In Fantasy HTML5, the GRRR tag is deprecated and has been replaced by the GRRM tag.

David Goldfarb on August 24, 2015 at 8:49 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Would you like a jelly baby?

David Goldfarb on August 24, 2015 at 8:51 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I am the Mouth of Hell.

redheadedfemme on August 24, 2015 at 8:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Han shot first!

CPaca on August 24, 2015 at 8:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

LEEEROOOOY JEN-

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:53 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“We reserved a table for nine in the pipeweed smoking section… The name is Gandalf. Gee Ay Enn Dee Ay Ell Eff….”

Marshall Ryan Maresca on August 24, 2015 at 8:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

If I were the man I was five years ago, I’d take a FLAMETHROWER TO THIS PLACE!

CaseyL on August 24, 2015 at 8:57 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It’s just a jump to the left,
And then a step to the right;
With your hands on your hips,
You pull your knees in tight…

Oh, come on, Balrog; surely you know that one!

redheadedfemme on August 24, 2015 at 9:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You put your left foot in,
You put your left foot out,
You put your left foot in and you shake it all about,
You do the Hokey-Pokey and you turn yourself around,
That’s what it’s all about!”

Craig R. on August 24, 2015 at 9:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“What’s it’s got in its pockets?”

FW on August 24, 2015 at 9:26 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Stop trying to make “fetch” happen!”

Craig R. on August 24, 2015 at 9:27 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

(Socrates to his students) – ” I drank WHAT?“

David Goldfarb on August 24, 2015 at 9:30 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Expelliarmus!

weatherglass on August 24, 2015 at 9:32 pm said:

II, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Dave doesn’t smoke. Dave never smoked.”

May Tree on August 24, 2015 at 9:43 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You shall not pass…go! Also, you shall not collect two hundred dollars!”

“Help, help, I’m being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!”

“Hey good lookin’! Whatcha got cookin’?”

“DROGON! DRACARYS!”

snowcrash on August 24, 2015 at 9:56 pm said:

II, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

OH JOHN RINGO NO

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 10:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’m done talking. Get out of my cave.”

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 10:29 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

A bunch of the boys were whooping it up in the Malamute Saloon

Scott Frazer on August 24, 2015 at 10:31 pm said:

Continuing the Vidya Games theme:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you’re going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.”

http://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/3/30/GLaDOS_chellgladoswakeup06.wav

Nat Lovin on August 24, 2015 at 10:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

David, my eyestalk is up here. Are you staring at my bumps?

Scott Frazer on August 24, 2015 at 10:43 pm said:

Continuing the same line of reasoning:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“All right, I’ve been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get Mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man whose gonna burn your house down – with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that’ll burn your house down!”

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 10:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

They’re Dalek bumps.

jayn on August 24, 2015 at 10:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”

Rose Embolism on August 24, 2015 at 10:59 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

*sigh* “OK. One. Last. Time. Now pay attention. Each member gets a single nomination “point” for each category, and that point will be divided equally among their nominated works in that category…”

OLeg89 on August 24, 2015 at 11:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’m Commander Shepard and this is my favorite comment thread on the Citadel.”

“Dammit, Balrog, I’m a doctor, not a wizard!”

“Autobots, transform and roll out!”

Kimberly K. on August 24, 2015 at 11:41 pm said:

(I apologize if anyone has done this one and for being so late to the party, but that was a lot of pages to go through.)

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“He has a square jaw and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate and despair and love that perfect hair in equal measure…He grinned, and everything about him was perfect. And I fell in love instantly.”

Jeff Smith on August 24, 2015 at 11:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Hold me closer, tiny dancer”

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 11:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“OUR SNARK IS A BOOJUM”

Jeff Smith on August 24, 2015 at 11:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’m going to quote the movie this time.”

Lauowolf on August 24, 2015 at 11:56 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I am, in all modesty, a skilled author, one of the finest writing today

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 11:58 pm said:

And then Nigel started it off – http://file770.com/?p=24507&cpage=7#comment-325169

I’m so, so sorry.

Hmm.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m so, so sorry.

Ray Radlein on August 25, 2015 at 12:14 am said:

II, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“The sheet I slit, I slit the sheet; and on the slitted sheet I sit. I’ve never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that.”

mickyFinn on August 25, 2015 at 12:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten

They call me Mister Tibbs

God save me from another such victory

There will be a ten percent surcharge for resisting arrest

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 12:27 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Dra-cu-la cha-cha-cha.

Niall McAuley on August 25, 2015 at 12:49 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You have debauched my sloth!

Cubist on August 25, 2015 at 12:52 am said:

Gandalf’s memorable words…

“The gostak distims the doshes.”

“My hovercraft is full of eels!”

“Dirac Angestun Gesept! The list is long.”

“We demand clearly defined areas of uncertainty and doubt!”

“Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me, I wanna be dirty!”

Kyra on August 25, 2015 at 1:04 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It is a fact universally acknowledged, that a single Balrog in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 1:33 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It’s better than working for Xerox

You have failed to maintain your weapon.

You are in front of me, if you value your lives, be somewhere else.

IanP on August 25, 2015 at 1:34 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Freeze. You’re under arrest. You have the right to the remains of a silent attorney. If you cannot afford one… tough noogies. You can make ONE phone call. I recommend Trixie: 976-Triple-5-LOVE. Do you understand these rights as I’ve explained them to you?

tonieee on August 25, 2015 at 1:47 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Victory? Victory, you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the Puppy War has.

Abi Sutherland on August 25, 2015 at 1:54 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?

Ray Radlein on August 25, 2015 at 1:58 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Is it safe?”

tonieee on August 25, 2015 at 1:59 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Adventure… excitement… an SJW craves not these things.

Ray Radlein on August 25, 2015 at 1:59 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE!”

Rick Moen on August 25, 2015 at 2:00 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Dave Kyle says you can’t stand there.

Ray Radlein on August 25, 2015 at 2:01 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“KHAN!“

Abi Sutherland on August 25, 2015 at 2:23 am said:

@Nigel: I’m just waiting for it to come round again on the guitar.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You can get anything in Bree at the bar of the Prancing Pony.

Mark on August 25, 2015 at 2:29 am said:

I thought this might be closing in on Longest Thread Evar, but “To Your Scattered Kennels Go 7/6″ went to 1,887. Only 415 Balrogs to go!

Rev. Bob on August 25, 2015 at 2:30 am said:

Okay, you guys have given lots of fun answers, and I’ve gotten plenty of laughs, but I think it’s time I put the truly immortal words out there:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

(Fandom pulls a massive book out of its backpack, throwing it down in front of the Balrog. The surface of the bridge cracks from the impact.)

“I don’t care about any of these people!”

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 2:35 am said:

He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?” and I said, “Gamin’ the Hugos'”‘ . . . .
And they all moved away from me on the bench there, with the hairy eyeball
And all kinds of mean, nasty things, till I said, “And creatin’ a nuisance .
. . ” And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the
Bench talkin’ about crime, mother-stabbin’, father-rapin’, . . . all kinds
Of groovy things that we was talkin’ about on the bench, and everything was
Fine.

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 2:36 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You have the right to final absolution.
Any unconfessed sins can and will be used against you in the court of St. Peter.
You have the right to a priest or religious counselor for the confession of sin.
If you do not have a confessor, and cannot afford an indulgence, a confessor will be appointed to you.
If you choose not to receive these rites, fail to confess all of your sins, are not fully contrite, or if your confessor is of an incompatible religion or sect, your immortal soul will be purified in hellfire until cleansed of sin, or until the end of time (whichever comes first).
Do you understand these rites, even though they are arcane,have been written in a dead language, are somewhat ambiguous or unclear, and you may be unable to correctly participate due to your failing health, poor memory of all of your sins, and the distraction of Death standing over you impatiently tapping his hourglass with his scythe?

(Original by “jnh” – one of the variations posted to Open Thread 141 on Making Light.)

Mart on August 25, 2015 at 2:47 am said:

I had unfortunately duplicated Picard’s fine rant, so here’s three that, AFAIK, haven’t been used yet.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Game over man, game over!”

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any more!”

JJ on August 25, 2015 at 3:01 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

African or European?

NickPheas on August 25, 2015 at 3:12 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

But what do Gods Talk about?

Anna Feruglio on August 25, 2015 at 3:52 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hello to Jason Isaac!

Jon Meltzer on August 25, 2015 at 4:06 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Oh, wait …

Lydy Nickerson on August 25, 2015 at 4:08 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Speak Friend and Enter.

Andrew Hickey on August 25, 2015 at 4:25 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Mind the oranges, Marlon!

Kyra on August 25, 2015 at 4:35 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow!

Camestros Felapton on August 25, 2015 at 4:53 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’ve wrestled with alligators,
I’ve tussled with a whale.
I done handcuffed lightning
And throw thunder in jail.
You know I’m bad.
just last week, I murdered a rock,
Injured a stone, Hospitalized a brick.
I’m so mean, I make medicine sick.

IanP on August 25, 2015 at 5:02 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Would. You. Like. To. Play. A. Game?

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 25, 2015 at 5:15 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Back away or I’ll post your AshleyMadison profile.”

Cassy B. on August 25, 2015 at 5:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.

Jon Meltzer on August 25, 2015 at 5:27 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Balrogs. It had to be Balrogs.

Abi Sutherland on August 25, 2015 at 5:39 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

OR

I don’t know who you are, or where you came from, but from now on you’ll do as I tell you. OK?

Jack Lint on August 25, 2015 at 5:56 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You get NOTHING! You lose! Good day, sir!”

(Been done? How about “SJW die. They do not surrender.”)

Stevie on August 25, 2015 at 6:08 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You stand between me and my lord and king, as well as my luggage: begone, if you be not deathless, for I have a plane to catch!

Viverrine on August 25, 2015 at 6:21 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a ring I can tell you I don’t have any rings, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for creatures like you. If you let my hobbits go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.

Jim Henley on August 25, 2015 at 6:24 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It used to be that if there was no signal on a TV channel it showed this field of static, all white and grey flecks in a kind of squall pattern. So…”

Jon F. Zeigler on August 25, 2015 at 6:27 am said:

Oh, all right, one more.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.

Jonathan K. Stephens on August 25, 2015 at 6:28 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Save Game

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 6:31 am said:

I want all of these to be henceforward referred to as The Reverend Balrogs.

Tintinaus on August 25, 2015 at 6:39 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Dinsdale? Dinsdale? Diiiiinsdale?

I am the very model of a magic wielding meddler

cmm on August 25, 2015 at 6:40 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I like you, Balrog. I’ll kill you last.

The cake is a lie.

Geronimo!

snowcrash on August 25, 2015 at 6:46 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

FUS-ROH-DAH!

cmm on August 25, 2015 at 6:55 am said:

Oh just one more, last one, I promise…

II, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I need a S W A T team ready to moblize, streel level maps covering the whole of Florida, a pot of coffee, 12 Jammie Dodgers and a fez”!

Jack Lint on August 25, 2015 at 6:55 am said:

Just remember the immortal words of Yukon Cornelius:

“Balrogs bounce!”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 25, 2015 at 7:05 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Watson, the game’s afoot!”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 25, 2015 at 7:06 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.”

ildi on August 25, 2015 at 7:10 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…

It’s a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?…

I’ve always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we’re together we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Won’t you please,
Won’t you please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?

Froonium Ricky on August 25, 2015 at 7:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

(IanP @ 8/25 1:34a:)
Freeze. You’re under arrest. You have the right to the remains of a silent attorney. If you cannot afford one… tough noogies. You can make ONE phone call. I recommend Trixie: 976-Triple-5-LOVE. Do you understand these rights as I’ve explained them to you?

Awww, I’m honored. Thanks.

Least I can do is toss in a few of my own. Well, not my own, but you know what I mean.

“STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!”

“Who is John Galt?”

“I’ve got a theory; it could be bunnies.”

“What a dump.”

“I can see my house from here!”

“You didn’t see Lefors out there, did you? … For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble.”

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–“

Wildcat on August 25, 2015 at 7:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re no Tank Marmot.”

Bruce Baugh on August 25, 2015 at 7:25 am said:

Abi: I for true did a spit take at the Alice’s Restaurant one. I’d have told you that 5 minutes ago, but I’ve been wiping off my monitor and keyboard. Good work, you dangerous person.

Ildi, if Abi hadn’t already gotten me, you and Mr. Rogers might have.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Door ajar. Please shut.”

(I should explain. It’s from Jack Womack’s Ambient: “In that room’s dark I heard the voice of the refrigerator. Door ajar. Please shut.The door was not ajar, but the computer – a number three – couldn’t know; dust had gotten in the chips. Thousands of times, day and night, the refrigerator cried, Door ajar, please shut. Wd never had appliance money, and so could afford neither new refrigerator nor repairperson. The voice was pleasant, and the sentiment inoffensive; you got used to it.”)

Full of Sound, and Furry on August 25, 2015 at 7:41 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

What have you done with Dr Millmoss?

Bruce Baugh on August 25, 2015 at 7:52 am said:

Full of Sound: Oh, no, I did not need thoughts of Thurber illustrating Tolkien. The pain, my war wound…

IanP on August 25, 2015 at 8:03 am said:

@Froonium Ricky

And I just squeed like a fangirl, in the office…

Aaron on August 25, 2015 at 8:03 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 8:22 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I am, in all modesty, a skilled author, one of the finest writing today.

Lorcan Nagle on August 25, 2015 at 8:24 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

To me, My X-Men!

Stevie on August 25, 2015 at 8:47 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

No, we’ve told you over and over again that you can’t audition for Smaug; you’re not even the right species, and you’re lousy at riddles. Of course, if you get off this damned bridge we could probably fix a credit for you; how does ‘Ancient and Nameless Evil – Technical Advisor’ sound?

Rose Embolism on August 25, 2015 at 9:07 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

What. Does a balrog. Need with a starship?

Rev. Bob on August 25, 2015 at 9:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I know no-thing! No-thing!”

Sorry, I’ve been watching that old Marvel sitcom about Wolverine’s days in a WWII POW camp. You know, Logan’s Heroes…

Jamoche on August 25, 2015 at 9:46 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You have forgotten the face of your father.”

“Take Sean Bean first!”

“Don’t you worry about to. In my experience that always takes care of itself.  The important word is away.”

8 Deadly Words for the win!

David Owen-Cruise on August 25, 2015 at 10:00 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“A people united will never be ignited!”

IanP on August 25, 2015 at 10:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Suddenly a big ass truck roars out of left field and knocks the Balrog flying. The tall greying driver steps out of the cab, adjusts his well tailored suit and says in a sardonic tone, “Pick on someone your own size… or at least closer to it”

GSLamb on August 25, 2015 at 11:10 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Stupid Balrog, that’s MY Loc Nar!

Cally on August 25, 2015 at 11:13 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You’d better beat it; I hear they’re gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 11:24 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Coffee’s for closers.

Ms Minerva on August 25, 2015 at 11:45 am said:

I started following this blog and it’s delightful comment section just after the Puppocalypse began in April, but this has been the first moment that I felt I had something to offer.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!”

also…

“Are you my mummy?”

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 11:54 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Sorry, we’re closed for the duration.

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 11:56 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I think you need to check your moral compass. When was it last calibrated?

MDW on August 25, 2015 at 12:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hey man, you got a light?

Hampus Eckerman on August 25, 2015 at 12:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Bring me a shrubbery!

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 12:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Tell me about… Subscriber Trunk Dialling.

Wildcat on August 25, 2015 at 12:30 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Meep meep!”

MDW on August 25, 2015 at 12:46 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

May the Force be with you.

MDW on August 25, 2015 at 1:27 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I believe that this fellowship should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this Age is out, of sending a hobbit to Mt. Doom and returning him safely to the Shire.

Viverrine on August 25, 2015 at 1:58 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

By Grabthar’s hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged.

Wildcat on August 25, 2015 at 2:01 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Balrog was my corner square! BINGO!”

MDW on August 26, 2015 at 10:31 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Obscurantism reveals itself in all climates. I understand these individuals perfectly; they are totally correct to distrust ideas that depart from the traditional frame of Earthlings. Have no doubt, these writings amount to the promotion of reconciliation with aliens and of transcendence without religious basis (if you doubt that, see the Hyperion Saga). Worse, there are even brilliant writers like Lois MacMaster Bujold (Vorkosigan saga) capable of very subtly defending feminist theories! Oh, bring on Farenheit 451!

mandrillsgt on August 27, 2015 at 7:20 am said:

And if it is not to late for Balrog/Gandalf quotes let me submit:
(How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 2:25 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

This bridge ain’t big enough for the both of us.

Cadbury Moose on August 25, 2015 at 2:46 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Thank you for observing all safety precautions.

mickyFinn on August 25, 2015 at 3:04 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Rev. Bob on August 25, 2015 at 3:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 4:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It’s over 9,000? There’s no way that can be right…

Fugue on August 25, 2015 at 4:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’ve got a jar of dirt! I’ve got a jar of dirt!

Nigel on August 25, 2015 at 4:30 pm said:

Heads.

George Phillies on August 25, 2015 at 4:32 pm said:

With a tip of the hat to an Ann Arbor fan whose name after 30 years I do not remember:

Balrog! I command the true secret law! the one that respects our unity!

Not to quail
at bheer for breakfast!
That is the way!
Are we not fen?

CPaca on August 25, 2015 at 4:38 pm said:

mickyFinn : The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

RevBob : The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.

Rev. Bob on August 25, 2015 at 4:40 pm said:

@CPaca:

Don’t you tell ME which zone is for stopping and which zone is for unloading.

Aaron on August 25, 2015 at 4:52 pm said:

mickyFinn : The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

RevBob : The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

CPaca: Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.

“Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 25, 2015 at 4:57 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Son, you are just another beast-yowling burgher with delusions of grandeur. Now put that whip down and say you’re sorry or I am going to have roll up my sleeves and administer some quality editing to your narrative voice.”

Wildcat on August 25, 2015 at 5:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Please let this be a normal field trip!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 25, 2015 at 5:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”

Lorcan Nagle on August 25, 2015 at 5:07 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Good afternoon gentlemen. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold. Or you face the consequences. And to prove I’m not bluffing, watch this…

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 25, 2015 at 5:12 pm said:

@PJ Evans

There’s one over on the roundup thread. Also.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Balrog Forum

Ginger on August 25, 2015 at 5:57 pm said:

There’s one over on the roundup thread. Also.

*sigh*

Okay.

*rolls up sleeves, cracks knuckles*

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 25, 2015 at 6:51 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Damnit, Governor Christie, didn’t you learn anything from the last time you tried this?”

snowcrash on August 25, 2015 at 6:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over…

Tintinaus on August 25, 2015 at 6:58 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You get an Alfie! You get an Alfie! YOU ALL GET ALFIES!

Leslie C on August 25, 2015 at 7:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hello.

My name is Elder Price

And I would like to share with you the most amazing book. . .

Wildcat on August 25, 2015 at 7:16 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Shut up and dance with me!”

j-grizz on August 25, 2015 at 10:59 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

Cadbury Moose on August 26, 2015 at 1:10 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m Gandalf and Magneto. Get over it.

the little mole on August 26, 2015 at 3:41 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Did you do this on my head?

Soon Lee on August 26, 2015 at 4:25 am said:

Immortal words to Rev. Balrog:

“I am the best at what I do. And what I do isn’t nice.” *snikt*

“Let’s…see what happens”

“Needs more cowbell.”

“Winter is coming.”

“It’s all in the reflexes.”

IanP on August 26, 2015 at 5:51 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Leave this place. They are not for you. Go. Leave. NOW!”

“You are not ready for immorality… I mean immortality”

Cally on August 26, 2015 at 7:43 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Can you hear me now?

Cadbury Moose on August 26, 2015 at 11:53 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Let’s dance!”

dcb on August 26, 2015 at 12:00 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“DARK IN HERE, ISN’T IT?”

“Forward momentum!”

Cadbury Moose on August 26, 2015 at 12:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Greetings! We’re from the Government and we’re here to help you.

rgl on August 26, 2015 at 3:41 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

On the one hand, you, a being of puissant darkness and might able to swat most mages and men as a common blowfly and nigh invulnerable to weaponry material and magical. On the other hand I have a dart of slippery elm bark.

No Award!

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Ils me appellent fou, mais mon nom est Gandalf le Gris.

Stop! In the name of love.

Great Zot! You’re beautiful.

Mark Dennehy on August 27, 2015 at 5:03 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Unexpected item in the bagging area”