Rev. Bob and the Balrog: The Desolation Of Brad*

*Thanks to Nigel for the addition to the title*

It all began here, on File 770, that hive of scum:

Rev. Bob on August 23, 2015 at 1:25 pm said:

(Yes, I’m catching up. Please to forgive any temporal anomalies.)

[snip]

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The answers soon followed: 

Nigel on August 23, 2015 at 1:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

‘THERE AIN’T NO FLIES ON US!’

Camestros Felapton on August 23, 2015 at 2:02 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words…

“Chu for President!”

Or if Silverbob is Gandalf:
“Hare Krishna!”

Or the words of power
“E Pluribus Hugo!”

CPaca on August 23, 2015 at 2:38 pm said:

Rev Bob : I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Yngvi is a louse”?

Cassy B. on August 23, 2015 at 2:50 pm said:

Rev Bob : I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

My hovercraft is full of eels…?

CPaca on August 23, 2015 at 3:09 pm said:

Rev Bob : I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Your place or mine, big boy”?

Ginger on August 23, 2015 at 4:05 pm said:

Rev Bob : I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy?

Teemu Leisti on August 23, 2015 at 6:45 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I say, dear sir, would you be awfully put out if I just asked you to wait here for two minutes? Much obliged.”

Vicki Rosenzweig on August 23, 2015 at 6:48 pm said:

“I am just going outside. I may be some time”?

Mr Dalliard on August 23, 2015 at 6:52 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is the airspeed velocity of a laden swallow?

NelC on August 23, 2015 at 7:02 pm said:

“Wub-wub!”

Rose Embolism on August 23, 2015 at 7:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“And now for my next impression- Jessie Owens!”

Soon Lee on August 23, 2015 at 7:17 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

GOD STALK!

(Someone had to…)

Fugue on August 23, 2015 at 7:20 pm said:

@Maximillian

What I am reminded of whenever anyone says “We have cookies”: http://ursulav.deviantart.com/art/The-Abyss-Looks-Back-62380479

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Eulaliaaaaaa!

Camestros Felapton on August 23, 2015 at 7:23 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words

“Luke, I am your father.”

P J Evans on August 23, 2015 at 7:23 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Okay, make sure to pull this rope tied to me when you drop the bridge, so I don’t go with it….

Jim Henley on August 23, 2015 at 7:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I tell myself, this is the life we chose.”

Lexica on August 23, 2015 at 7:33 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”

Rick K on August 23, 2015 at 7:47 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Saisinko viinilistan.

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 23, 2015 at 7:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words

“I did the Kessel Run in two point seven parsnips!”

Lauowolf on August 23, 2015 at 7:57 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Johnny Coelacanth on August 23, 2015 at 8:02 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Cthulhu fhtagn!”

Mark Simmons on August 23, 2015 at 8:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Klaatu… Barada.. something.

CPaca on August 23, 2015 at 8:06 pm said:

Teemu Leisti : To clarify, Finnish does have personal pronouns: it’s just that there is only one, non-gendered, third person singular: “hän”.

Only one?

So you’re saying it’s “hän”, solo, then?

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?”

“I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

“Say hello to my little friend.”

Cubist on August 23, 2015 at 8:22 pm said:

Gandalf’s famous words? Um…

“Badgers? We don’t need to show you no stinking badgers!”

Kendall on August 23, 2015 at 8:34 pm said:

GOD STALK!

(Someone had to…)

To which the Balrog replied, “Aristotle!”

Bruce Baugh on August 23, 2015 at 8:36 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Spa fon.”

“Richard Geis says it needs more skin.”

“The Gestetner is out of toner.”

“Move the previous point.” (Note to self: link here to a good image of Kevin Standlee wielding an axe. There is such an image, yes?)

CPaca on August 23, 2015 at 8:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Ooh-oo child
Things are gonna get easier
Ooh-oo child
Things’ll get brighter”

Chad Saxelid on August 23, 2015 at 8:59 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Let’s get this party started!”

“You have got to be fucking kidding…”

“Death to Videodrome, long live the new flesh!”

“You’re next!”

“What in the universe is that?”

Ian Wright on August 23, 2015 at 9:07 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’ll swallow your soul!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 23, 2015 at 9:09 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“So, you’re the new HR guy?”

The other Nigel on August 23, 2015 at 9:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m not even supposed to be here today!

onyxpnina on August 23, 2015 at 9:17 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Mrs. Peel, we’re needed!”

Lexica on August 23, 2015 at 9:18 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I am way too old for this shit.”

Rose Embolism on August 23, 2015 at 9:29 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Warriors, come out to Pla-aaaay…”

“I AM THE LAW!”

“I’m laughing at your superior intellect.”

“Ehhh, what’s up Doc?”

Cubist on August 23, 2015 at 9:31 pm said:

Gandalf’s words…

“Have you ever considered the advantages of owning a really fine set of encyclopedias?”

Chris S on August 23, 2015 at 9:40 pm said:

Gandalf : I’ll be back!

Rick Moen on August 23, 2015 at 9:48 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

We were somewhere around Spokane on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like ‘I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive…’ And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to San Francisco. And a voice was screaming: ‘Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?’

Hampus Eckerman on August 23, 2015 at 9:55 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

Gabriel F. on August 23, 2015 at 10:35 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

P J Evans on August 23, 2015 at 10:35 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Ameliorated. I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

XS on August 23, 2015 at 10:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I’m not even supposed to be here today!

Shambles on August 24, 2015 at 12:00 am said:

I am late to the party, and the one true answer has already been spoken

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Would you like an asterisk* ?

NowhereMan on August 24, 2015 at 12:29 am said:

Nevermind

Cubist on August 24, 2015 at 12:54 am said:

The words of Gandalf S. Thompson:

“We can’t stop here. This is Balrog country.”

Bravo Lima Poppa on August 24, 2015 at 4:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Come over here if you think you’re hard enough!”

Anna Feruglio Dal Dan on August 24, 2015 at 4:20 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Is that a lash in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 4:24 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“The name’s Noah, Noah Ward!”

Peace Is My Middle Name on August 24, 2015 at 5:00 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“How do you do? I see you’ve met my faithful handyman.”

Amina on August 24, 2015 at 6:09 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Reader, I married him.

cmm on August 24, 2015 at 6:33 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”

Fred Davis on August 24, 2015 at 7:51 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I can’t be having with that kind of thing.”

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 7:54 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Father Ted and Father Dougal raised their signs to the Balrog, admonishing it with all their Irish eloquence.

“Down with this sort of thing!” read Ted’s, “Careful now!” said Dougal’s.

The Balrog wouldn’t be seen on Craggy Island again. Bishop Brennan would be pleased.

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 7:55 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re an attractive woman….probably”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 7:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Don’t tell him, your name – Pike!”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 7:58 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Shovel it up your %$$”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 8:01 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“There were no cucumbers sir, not even for ready money.”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:01 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“Jets suck!”

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 8:01 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Are you free Mr Humphries?” “I’m free Mrs Slocombe!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:03 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Too early for flapjacks?”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 8:03 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Anger of fire, fire of speech breath of knowledge render us free from harm
Return us to the innocence that once we knew, complete the Circle
Make us at one with nature and the elements!”

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 8:05 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Gee, what are we gonna do tonight Gandalf?”
“The same thing we do every night, Balrog: Try to take over the world!“

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:07 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I thought you’d be blonde and carrying a rolled-up copy of the Times….”

Jon Meltzer on August 24, 2015 at 8:07 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“What ho, Jeeves!!”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 8:08 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Green pater nostre sadheim was my foster he made me under the poison tree
He was born of flesh and blood to give me my right food,
Halve the population roster, say the green prayer pater nostre.”

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 8:08 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Ni!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:10 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Yo, Blair!”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:12 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“WE’VE GOT TIME FOR ANOTHER FONDLE.”

Beth in MA on August 24, 2015 at 8:13 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Soylent Green is people!

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 8:14 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

The enemy’s gate is down.

Bruce Baugh on August 24, 2015 at 8:14 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Grignr’s emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount. His scowling voice reverberated over the dying form in a tone of mocking mirth. “You city bred dogs should learn not to antagonize your better.”

Jon Meltzer on August 24, 2015 at 8:16 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Blood and Souls for Lord Arioch!!

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:16 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You might very well think that; I couldn’t possibly comment”

Ed on August 24, 2015 at 8:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You’re going to need a bigger boat !”

David W. on August 24, 2015 at 8:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Answer me these questions three, ere the other side you see. What… is your favorite song?”

Where there’s a Whip, there’s a way.

“Good enough, go on your way then.”

Steve Wright on August 24, 2015 at 8:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Mornington Crescent!

[Editorial note: CHEATER!]

Jack Lint on August 24, 2015 at 8:20 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Don’t you think it looks tired?”

SocialInjusticeWorrier on August 24, 2015 at 8:24 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.”

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 8:27 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Hexapodia is the key insight.

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 8:30 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“But why a spoon?”

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 8:39 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I have a cunning plan…”

Ginger on August 24, 2015 at 8:41 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“My cabbages!!!”

Niall McAuley on August 24, 2015 at 8:42 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 8:46 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You can find the others if you are brave. They passed down all the roads long ago, and the Entwives ran close behind them and covered their footprints.

cmm on August 24, 2015 at 8:48 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 8:57 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“Well, that escalated quickly.”

Chad Saxelid on August 24, 2015 at 8:58 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?”

“I think you pissed it off.”

“You dirty bird…”

“I am Spartacus!”

Rob on August 24, 2015 at 9:02 am said:

Oh, and while I’m here:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“There are…four…lights!”

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 9:04 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

This. Is my boomstick!

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 9:16 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Has anything amusing happened to you in conjunction with a spoon?”

(for the Brits here. Cont. P. 94)

Ginger on August 24, 2015 at 9:16 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Onwards, Christian Soldiers! Marching as to war!”

Microtherion on August 24, 2015 at 9:16 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue”.

jayn on August 24, 2015 at 9:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You say ‘that’s not fair’ so often! I wonder what your basis for comparison is?”

Abi Sutherland on August 24, 2015 at 9:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I live! I die! I live again!

snowcrash on August 24, 2015 at 9:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

YOU MADE US DO THIS!

Chad Saxelid on August 24, 2015 at 9:22 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“DEEZ NUTS.”

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 9:23 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Victory. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

RedWombat on August 24, 2015 at 9:25 am said:

@abi — Good lord, the Mad Max one works with the actual story, too!

WITNESS GANDALF

Jon F. Zeigler on August 24, 2015 at 9:25 am said:

Apologies to Abi, but the better one would be:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“MEDIOCRE!”

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 9:27 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You’re a wizard, Harry!

rrede on August 24, 2015 at 9:38 am said:

Don’t think I’ve seen this one before……but I may have missed it!

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I aten’t ded!

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 9:40 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

For the last time, no, I am not going to get you a ticket for Benedict Cumberbatch’s ‘Hamlet’!

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 9:42 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine…

Source Decay on August 24, 2015 at 9:44 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I knew it. I’m surrounded by assholes!

bloodstone75 on August 24, 2015 at 9:44 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Frankly, my dears, we do give a damn.

OLeg89 on August 24, 2015 at 9:45 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Tea, Earl Grey, hot.

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 9:47 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

We’re on a mission from God.

Jon Meltzer on August 24, 2015 at 9:48 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed.

Niall McAuley on August 24, 2015 at 9:50 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Stop trying to hit me, and hit me!”

Fugue on August 24, 2015 at 9:51 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m sorry, Balrog. I’m afraid I can’t do that… This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 9:54 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Dave. My mind is going. I can feel it…. Dr Chandra taught me a song. Shall I sing it to you? Daisy. Daisy.”

(as inspired by @Fugue just above!)

Bravo Lima Poppa on August 24, 2015 at 9:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Your clothes… give them to me, now.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

You’re killing me Smalls!

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

RedWombat on August 24, 2015 at 9:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You fight like a dairy farmer!”
“What a coincidence! You fight like a cow!”

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 9:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!

CPaca on August 24, 2015 at 10:02 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam.”

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 10:02 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Oh, just one more thing –”

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 10:04 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Well now I’m standing. Happy? We’re all standing now. Bunch of jackasses. Standing in a circle.”

Simon Bisson on August 24, 2015 at 10:05 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It’s about ethics in returning jewelry to its maker.”

Jon Meltzer on August 24, 2015 at 10:09 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Ginger on August 24, 2015 at 10:13 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“They mostly come out at night. Mostly.”

Leslie C on August 24, 2015 at 10:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m
Too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt

Jason on August 24, 2015 at 10:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

…sssssshhhhhh….aving cream, be nice and clean,
shave every morning and you’ll always look keen

Amina on August 24, 2015 at 10:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

For the MRAs/PUAs out there: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends.

Neil W on August 24, 2015 at 10:18 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Do you want to build a snowman?

Joe H. on August 24, 2015 at 10:19 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It’s Old Man McGregor!”

“And I’d’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 10:26 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

SEDA-GIVE?!?

Leslie C on August 24, 2015 at 10:30 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

That’s Hedley!

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 10:32 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Last night I dreamed of Mandalay…

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 10:33 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Does my bum look big in this?

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 10:34 am said:

The Balrog wouldn’t be seen on Craggy Island again. Bishop Brennan would be pleased.

Except for the giant glossy blow-up photograph of Father Ted kicking the balrog up the arse.

Mark Hopper on August 24, 2015 at 10:34 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I know you are, but what am I?!

Laertes on August 24, 2015 at 10:35 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Dance-off, bro! Me and you!

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 10:36 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’M NOT A NUMBER! I’M A FREE MAN!

Learned on August 24, 2015 at 10:38 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m flying, Jack!

Steve Wright on August 24, 2015 at 10:38 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Have any arms fallen into Xeron hands?

Oneiros on August 24, 2015 at 10:39 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Who is Keyser Soze?

Doire on August 24, 2015 at 10:40 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

If you were a dinosaur, my love…

P J Evans on August 24, 2015 at 10:41 am said:

Oh, you have no idea of those which you speak…

Probably better off not having one, also.

Oh:
I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Pardon me, but your fly appears to be open.

Mark Dennehy on August 24, 2015 at 10:43 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Put… the candle… back!

Edited to add on August 24, 2015 at 10:44 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

I drank what?

Nat Lovin on August 24, 2015 at 10:46 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Ook!

bloodstone75 on August 24, 2015 at 10:46 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom?

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Heh heh. That’s not a knoyf. This is a knoyf.

Tenar Darell on August 24, 2015 at 10:48 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Forget it John, it’s Caddyshack.

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 10:50 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Play it, Sam

Aaron on August 24, 2015 at 10:51 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Actually, its about ethics in game journalism.

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 10:54 am said:

@Oneiros: I see you’ve played balrogy nazguly before.

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 10:58 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

The corrupt fear us. The honest support us. The heroic join us.

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 10:59 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

I’m sure they’ll listen to Reason.

Aan on August 24, 2015 at 11:00 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

For what purpose does the member rise?

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 11:00 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Only the inept are deweaseled, your organisation is the sounder for their loss.

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 11:04 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Show people you aren’t afraid of them, and they’ll never hurt you…..nine times out of ten”

Simon Bucher-Jones on August 24, 2015 at 11:05 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

““I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.””

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 11:08 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Depart, I say; and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!

Laertes on August 24, 2015 at 11:10 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Better to jaw-jaw than to war-war.

bloodstone75 on August 24, 2015 at 11:11 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I just checked the colony [b]log, directive dated 2/1/15, signed Torgersen, Brad R. You sent them out there and you didn’t even warn them! Why didn’t you warn them, Brad?

Matthew Johnson on August 24, 2015 at 11:12 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Kermit the Frog here, coming to you live from the planet Koozbane…

Cally on August 24, 2015 at 11:14 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

THERE IS NO JUSTICE. THERE IS JUST US.

Seth Gordon on August 24, 2015 at 11:15 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 11:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I said slay it Sam, not play it!

Kathryn Sullivan on August 24, 2015 at 11:17 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

‘If the sum of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the square on the other two sides, why is a mouse when it spins?’

Dan Toland on August 24, 2015 at 11:26 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m not even supposed to be here today.

John Seavey on August 24, 2015 at 11:28 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy”?

Bravo Lima Poppa on August 24, 2015 at 11:32 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I am a leaf on the wind – watch how I soar.

Sometimes you have fun, and sometimes the fun has you.

I’d punch you in the face, but I don’t want to get any stupid on my hands.

Maybe we’re just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive.

Well that’s a rhetorical landmine I shouldn’t have stepped on.

All in favor, say “Tyranny of the majority.”

Good job. Another sentence slain, sir.

Stop pushing my “grouchy” button.

Ray on August 24, 2015 at 11:36 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Please remove your shoes and place all metal objects in the tray provided…

Leslie C on August 24, 2015 at 11:36 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Hodor!

This isn’t flying, this is falling with style.

Where’s the beef?

Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little on August 24, 2015 at 11:41 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

HAVE WE LIVED AND DIED IN VAIN?!

Fugue on August 24, 2015 at 11:44 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats… Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no farther!

Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little on August 24, 2015 at 11:47 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Do you want fries with that?

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 11:48 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

They should have sent a poet

Hampus Eckerman on August 24, 2015 at 11:52 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“Quick, up with your towels!”

William Burns on August 24, 2015 at 11:54 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Who is the man who would risk his neck for his brother man?

cmm on August 24, 2015 at 11:56 am said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Kiss my shiny metal ass!

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 11:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

David Kyle says you can’t sit here

Docgrognard on August 24, 2015 at 11:57 am said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

LOOK BEHIND YOU ! Beast-yowling burghers dancing with odd jerks of the elbows and knees !

OLeg89 on August 24, 2015 at 12:00 pm said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”

Matt Y on August 24, 2015 at 12:38 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Dude, where’s my car?

Amina on August 24, 2015 at 12:39 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Resistance is futile.”

Octavia on August 24, 2015 at 12:03 pm said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Wadde hadde dudde da?

For those who’ve never encountered Stefan Raab  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wadde_hadde_dudde_da%3F

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 12:04 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You have fruit punch mouth.”

Teemu Leisti on August 24, 2015 at 12:05 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“This is my staff, this is my gun! This is for fighting and this is for fun!”

CPaca on August 24, 2015 at 12:06 pm said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

If any more words come pouring out your [expletive] mouth, I’m gonna have to eat every [expletive] chicken in this room.

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 12:08 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Can you spare a few minutes to talk about Jesus?

Ray Radlein on August 24, 2015 at 12:08 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Wow, the Slayer’s a robot. Did everybody else know the Slayer was a robot?”

Gabriel F. on August 24, 2015 at 12:09 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“What do I know about diamonds?”

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 12:10 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Throw the book at him, Carrot.

mk41 on August 24, 2015 at 12:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

Assimilate this!

j-grizz on August 24, 2015 at 12:13 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“You have been weighed. You have been measured. You have been found wanting.”

Lenora Rose on August 24, 2015 at 12:14 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

If only I could bake the hall in the candle of her brain…

(maybe too obscure?)

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 12:15 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER?

GSLamb on August 24, 2015 at 12:20 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Are you not entertained?”

Jack Lint on August 24, 2015 at 12:21 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Oh yeah… one more thing: I’m glad you changed your last name, you son of a bitch!”

nightengale on August 24, 2015 at 12:22 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.

Dan Toland on August 24, 2015 at 12:24 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

I’m here to eat candy canes and kick ass! And I’m all out of candy canes!

Chad Saxelid on August 24, 2015 at 12:24 pm said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

HULK SMASH

“IN COMING MAIL!”

“It’s weird and pissed off, whatever it is.”

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

“I was going to Toshe Station to pick up some Power Converters!”

“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

XS on August 24, 2015 at 12:29 pm said:

“I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.”

“Prepare to meet Collie in hell.”

*hacks the bridge in half*

Cadbury Moose on August 24, 2015 at 12:30 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

An anvil’s black and shiny
It’s very heavy too
So watch out, my chubby friend
Or one will fall on you

Camestros Felapton on August 24, 2015 at 12:32 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

She says, “Hey, babe,
Take a walk on the wild side.”
Said, “Hey, babe,
Take a walk on the wild side.”
And the colored girls go
“Doo do doo do doo do do doo…”

(and in response to a different entry, Camestros said [quiet applause – no cheering as it may upset Brad]

Stevie on August 24, 2015 at 12:38 pm said:

No, Camestros, I really can’t see us suggesting to a Balrog that we should take a walk on the wild side; the wretched thing would enjoy it a lot more than we would. You might just as well inquire whether it’s going to Scarborough fayre, when any sensible person would be hoping for the sound of silence as we departed homeward bound…

Christian Brunschen on August 24, 2015 at 12:44 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Oh no, not again.”

Rob on August 24, 2015 at 12:48 pm said:

OK, one more.

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Chris S on August 24, 2015 at 12:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“It’s just a jump to the left”

“Get to the choppa!!”

“Oh you ain’t seen nothing yet, I can take this floor out too… no trouble!”

Maximillian on August 24, 2015 at 12:50 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Morituri Nolumus Mori”

David W. on August 24, 2015 at 12:51 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“Eh, what’s up, Doc?”

David W. on August 24, 2015 at 12:52 pm said:

Oh, one more,

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

Nigel on August 24, 2015 at 12:56 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

Ah … ! What’s happening?
Er, excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.
Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …
Or is it the wind?
There really is a lot of that now isn’t it?
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?

j-grizz on August 24, 2015 at 12:58 pm said:

I, for one, am very glad to see fandom standing fast upon this bridge, facing the Balrog with those immortal words that nobody here needs me to repeat.

“If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder.”